I thought T-Bird had snapped a cog when he decided a few years ago to start gardening. He had grown his
own tomatoes because he couldn't find any in the stores that he really liked, and the boy did good.
I raised an eyebrow, however, at the suggestion four years ago that we "grow our own" EVERYTHING. But I try to be a supportive wife, and only roll my eyes when his back is turned.
It was hard to imagine my scotch-drinkin', guitar-playin', bar fightin', party-til-you-puke biker bad-boy plowing The Good Earth for Sustenance.
He borrowed a tiller from his cousin, and I kissed the backyard good-bye.
Now, we grow some of everything.
Cousin Dave has a garden too. We planted onions at the same time that Dave did. My husband will tell
you that I am inept at planting onions and he's right. He has a one-handed technique that involves three
simple motions. I cannot master it.
He tended his onions with tender loving care and was so proud when they started growing. We thought we would get a fairly good crop.
Cuz e-mailed us pics of his onion crop, and THAT started it all. You could hear the swearing from blocks away.
Very impressive crop of onions. Especially if you compared them to ours. Ours looked good, but not
It turned into a pissin' contest between cousins.
They work at the same plant together, and each brought a sample of their onions to compare when they got
close to being ready for harvest.
They "whipped 'em out" at work, apparently. Competitive much??
Later that afternoon T-Bird came bursting through the back door:
"His tops may be prettier and longer, BUT MY BULBS ARE BIGGER!!!!"
Ya know......I just had to let that one go.........
Where in the world do you get Onion Enhancers?
If your tops droop, will Viagra help?
Bulbs do not make the man. Nor do the tops. It's not the size of the onions that matters, but how you cook with 'em.
We need to stop Produce Envy in our lifetime.